Tentative introduction to my paper.

Here is where I’m going to write some type of compelling introduction about the fandom.

My favorite film is The Lion King. When I was younger, I could have watched it over and over again, completely mesmerized by the artistry of the animation, the sheer breadth of time over which such an epic tale took place, the full-symphony orchestral musical numbers. And the characters, something about the lions in particular got to me. I found them just as believable as any human character, and twice as interesting.  As fervently as my peers would have insisted they were princesses, dressing up like Cinderella or Princess Jasmine, I would play pretend too, in my own way. While I would on occasion dress in my mother’s shiny sequined disco dress from decades before and play at being Esmerelda, Princess of the Gypsies, in my favorite games of pretend I was a lion. Prowling the Savannah with my family, we would go on countless adventures. But as with any child, my fantasies of grandeur were soon replaced with the reality of school, and forgotten about for a time. We all forget our dreams, but only a few learn to gain them back.

Several years later, I found again my childhood interest. Surfing the internet one day, I came upon a website dedicated to displaying art by fans of The Lion King. Most of the drawings were mediocre at best, but a few truly good artists did post on the site. Many of the pictures were of characters I didn’t know going on adventures that weren’t in the movies. A pale brown lion with a black streak in her fur was depicted many times in many different situations including hunting gazelle, climbing Pride Rock, and grooming a friend. Through a little digging, I discovered that she was an original creation of the artist, used to represent her as if she were an animal, to be a sort of alternate animal persona, or as the artist referred to it, a fursona. As I soon discovered, a majority of the characters displayed were the fursonas of some artist or another. Unknowingly, I had stumbled upon an internet lair of a group of social pariahs known as furries, a people who express themselves through anthropomorphic animal avatars. My knowledge of their society and customs would be limited for many years to come, but this interaction was a mere foreshadowing of my later interactions with the furry community, a community I would someday discover myself to have more in common with then I once expected.

What makes me me?

I've had writers block the past several days, so I asked my mate for help coming up with a prompt for this latest post. He asked me to describe how i got into the furry fandom. Really, a better question would be: How would anybody not expect me to have joined the furry fandom earlier.
As a little kid, my favorite movie was the Lion King. My favorite book was Warriors, and I cried when the wolves got shot in Julie of the Wolves. I had a wolf plushie I adored, and ran around howling, and pretend to be characters from my favorite anthropomorphic series. What else does that lead to?
While a highly kinky individual, the sexuality involved in furry doesnt attract me so much as the freedom of expression. I like the idea of being able to find a new way of explaining who i am to the world around me, and that's what it's about to me. I hope that by expressing myself better, I can find a way to understand myself bettter, and I'm just rambling.

A new democracy

Furry has gained a foothold in our culture today, and I don't think members of the fandom are aware of the power we truly hold. Anthropomorphic animal characters are everywhere, and pretty much anybody with access to the internet and the curiosity to go exploring past homework resources knows what a furry is. Sure, most of them think it's a fandom comprised solely of lonely gay 35 year old plushophiles, but they know furry when they see it. This gives us the ability to brand ourselves. What we have is visibility. What we have is a young community and a public curious to see where we go. What we don't have is leadership. Traditionally,  those who are in positions of power in communities are those who have years of experience racked up. Some of them continue to contribute viable opinions to their community and earn their position, others, I can only assume, do not.
What I see happening today in the furry community is a break from the old, traditional societal norms of a hierarchy. With all of the free space to express our opinions, anybody can say what they want, and the community at large will discover it and each individual will pass their own judgement, either accepting or rejecting the ideals of the speaker. This means each one of us has the potential to shape our community. Democracy through anarchy. This way, we are creating a new society with new standards chosen and approved by the people instead of some group of elders. A society where the creation of ideas and messages to share is the prime currency. So I say to my fellow furs, create conscientiously. Create with the knowledge that whatever you put out there could change the face of this community as we know it. After all, it all started with a small group, with an idea created in one person's mind. Any one person's mind could have the next revolutionary idea in the furry community. We are small enough that any one of us can still make all the difference.

A community run by you. Liberating and scary, no?

Costuming projects out the wazoo

Ok, so I've been in a quite crafty mood lately, so I'm working on designing several projects for the next anime convention in my hometown (unfortunately there aren't any furry cons I know of within the city limits, so my ability to go to those relies on my getting a driver's license). I plan on keeping track of my progress here, and maybe uploading photos of the finished results of my work.

I am currently working on:

• A very cute wolf tail. It's about two to three feet long and has a slight s-shaped curve in the pattern to hopefully avoid it hanging there looking totally dead. I don't think I'm going to use wire armature for this one. If I like it, I'm going to keep it. If I'm not sufficiently pleased with the results, I'll probably sell it to a friend who's not such a perfectionist for $5, just enough to cover the expenses in faux-fur at an extreme markdown. I was lucky enough to go into Joann fabrics when they had 7/8 of a yard left of the grey fur I wanted. When they have less than a yard, they sell it to you at a 50% discount.

I have not started but am planning on making:

• A cat tail for my friend. Also grey material, possibly painting on black stripes with a toothbrush. I hope he decides to pay me for it, but if he doesn't, I'll survive. I hope to get good enough to actually make an income off of fursuit and art commissions someday, seeing as I'm not set out for a high-paying desk job.
• Two pairs of ears: One set of wolf ears for myself, and one set of cat ears with black tips for my friend.
• A Robot Unicorn Attack head out of poster board or plastic sheets if I can get my hands on them. I'm going to look at the pattern here http://www.thedentedhelmet.com/f23/boba-fett-helmet-blueprints-templates-10497/ of a boba-fett helmet, and figure out how to make a similar pattern shaped like an equine head. I like what beastcub did here http://www.beastcub.com/apps/photos/photo?photoid=74551706, but plan on going in an entirely different direction. I like suit heads a good deal smaller on partials, and am going to go for a sleeker design without the faux fur mane. If I do a mane, it will be a much thinner and more flowing material.
• Elf ears for my love, using a latex mold or somesuch. LOTR costuming sites should help me a great deal here. 
• A wolf head eventually, but I'm awfully scared to do this one as the materials are expensive and I don't have a lot of experience making heads of any type.

Things I'd like to make but probably won't because of skill and time constraints:

• A Captian Malcom Reynolds browncoat large enough to wear with my partial wolfsuit. The main challenge will be figuring out how to make room for a tail without messing with the original duster design too much.
• An entirely seperate brown Dr. Who coat, but I could use the same one as the Captain Mal one if I make it. Combining it with the proper outfit, as I've been told I look a bit like David Tennant. (if David Tennant was an FTM teenager with a really bad haircut)
• I'd like to help my boyfriend make his Dalek suit because holy crap yes, nerdy couples costumes for the win. He's going to probably be helping me a shitton with sewing because I suck at it.
• A Kahjiit fursuit to wear next year for the release of the next in the series that brought us Oblivion. The Elder Scrolls 5: Skyrim. So psyched.
• A lemur fursuit. Just because. This one will probably never happen, but I've seen some cool ones and think it could be fun.

Holy crap, looking at what I've just written, I have a feeling I'm probably only ever going to do maybe the tails and ears, and possibly the suit heads if I'm feeling brave. This should be enough to keep me busy for, oh, forever. If I ever get any of these done, expect followup posts.

Later on, I think I'll post a list of all of the art projects I want to do that aren't involving costumes.

Wolves: I went generic-furry because I was too cheap for a prescription brand.

When I began my investigation into the furry fandom, I threw around several ideas of what my fursona should be. Some were more creative than others. I seriously have about twenty possibilities floating around in my head ranging from coati to caracal.

Some of these I was interested in solely because I wanted desperately to be original. I mean, who could doubt that I was creative if I walked into a forum with a badass honey badger as my avatar? I'd be respected and admired by all I met, just for having such a kickass dangerous animal for my 'sona.

Of course, I wasn't going off of what animals I found asthetically pleasing, so I considered some more attractive beasts, like the banded linsang. Sleek, smooth and lanky with cheetah stripes and long tail, a linnie fur would be quite the charmer. Of course, it failed the most important criterion for a fursona. I didn't identify with it. There are a few animals I identify with closely.

Some are more totems, for instance the caracal is a symbol of my spirituality, as is the Ibizan hound. I could never picture myself being a caracal though. It just doesn't fit me. A housecat on the other hand, perhaps. Or a horse. And then a creeping suspicion hit me. Perhaps, I'd be best identified as a wolf.

When I was a little boy I'd run around my room shirtless howling at the top of my lungs, and the desire to howl when I feel strong emotion still follows me to this day. I can get quite snappish when hungry or tired, feeling the urge to growl and bare my teeth. I am hyperactive, have astute hearing, and like chasing squirrels and birds. I am loyal to a fault, and strongly identify with the canine social structure. I love to cuddle with those I consider inside my pack, and am often annoyingly close with them, not considering personal space to be a nescessity, but am often either standoffish or overly enthusiastic with strangers. All of these factors suggest to me a canine personality, but I feel a deeper connection to nature than I imagine a domesticated dog would. As such, I like to consider myself a wolf, or a wolf-dog hybrid.

I know many are of the belief that wolf furries are not very creative, choosing a popular species for lack of imagination or introspection, but for me at the very least, a wolf just happens to be who I am at this point in my life. Maybe it will change someday, and my desire to create a Kahjiit fursuit (the felid race from Oblivion) will have some purpose. Or perhaps I'm destined to remain a proud Canis lupus forever. I don't care. I don't have to prove myself to anyone, and if they say that wolves are too generic, I can just wag my tail and laugh.

Preparing for a scholarly discussion of fandom

Schoolwork's really been getting to me lately. I couldn't decide on a good topic for my research paper, until it occured to me that furries would be a good topic to research. It's going to be difficult though. Scanning through magazine articles on fursuit construction, and scholarly interpretations of anthropomorphism and social impacts of an internet-based society, looking for visuals to analyze, sifting through forums, and listening to furcast for a primary source, it's a hard life! The tentative title as to be presented to my writing professor is "Cultural revitalization through zoomorphic self expression in internet subcultures, an analysis."
Of course, I'll also have to interview furries, now where could I find some of those?
My only concern about writing this paper is attracting the wrath of those in the fandom who don't approve of any analysis of the fandom that isn't exactly how they want to be represented. And I plan on writing an honest one, not discussing fandom sexuality in detail, but acknowledging its existance. If I cared what the burned furs or other judgemental groups said, I would be screwed.

Calculus is a drug

So typically I write about furry related stuff on this blog but today I'm going to go with a rant instead.
DEAR LORD I HATE/LOVE/HATE CALCULUS.
You know how people act when they're high? I did a four hour calculus study session with a group at one of my friend's houses, and by the end of it our brains were fried so bad, we were acting like we were on drugs. So many drugs it wasnt even funny. I guess implicit differentiation gives you a pretty good trip, because I was rolling on the floor, nomming on people and dogs, and generically freaking out. And it wasn't just me, my friends were doing it too. We watched the trollolo video, and I freaked out. Then my mom came and picked me up, and I started to calm down. After dinner, I signed up for secondlife because my old account was distroyed after i didnt log in forever. (Aha, there's the furry angle, I knew I could find one somewhere!) I haven't really tried it out yet, but I'll let y'all know what I think. Sofar, my impressions are that it takes a ridiculously long time to load the images, and it's not that great, but maybe if I set the graphic settings lower I'll be able to see whats going on around me. My favorite game with anthro characters will remain Oblivion though. The Kahjiit are just too cool. I should review that game some time.

The next post will probably be after Furcast on Saturday, seeing as I may be out late tomorrow evening. Until then, rest well and have a good time!

Socialization is fun, but hard

I've been a busy wolfie the past few days, but here's a go at a new post.
I've been making an effort to connect with other local furs lately, and having some success. Havent met anybody new, but I've been spending more time with one of my friends and her boyfriend (the ones who introduced me to furcast, thus getting me to feel better about my furryness) because they are people I feel positive around, and like I don't have to hide this part of myself. And the great part is, we're planning a furmeet with some local furs. The not so great part is that we have no real idea what to do at said meet. Has anybody in the audience been to a meetup with any sort of fandom? What kind of stuff is good to do when meeting new furs for the first time? I'm a little bad at the whole socializing with new people thing as Ive had basically the same friends for 4 years now.

New friend!

I think I may have met another furry today at work, and while I'm not sure, I am pretty sure I met a new friend. I won't post her name here, but suffice it to say she's a lot like me in that she likes PC gaming, and she seems like a really fun person. She told me she reads a lot of books about dragons, and that's what tipped me off that she may be into the fandom a bit. So to test the waters, I mentioned that I always play as an anthro character when theres that option in videogames (I play a Kahjiit in Oblivion, and am considering making her a secondary, female fursona), and she said she does the same. Because really, who wants to play as a human? Humans are... meh.

That made me happy. Whether or not she's actually in fandom, she seems like a cool person and someone I could be friends with.

Pointless point is pointless, but I feel the need to stay in the habit of posting.